Food for thought : Wrongful Intimacy

by - 2:07 AM




First and foremost, RAMADAN KAREEM. Bismillahi MashaAllah! We've made it. May Allah grant us the strength to remain steadfast towards his deen. Ameen.

Lately, i've been battling with many unsettled emotions and thoughts. For some reason, my emotions have a tendency to creep it's way back into my train of thought. I can safely say that nobody can handle the things that goes on in my mind. Most of the time, overwhelming. Alhamdulillah, i have been granted with the ability to contain the mess in my head. Some days it feels like i am having to contain a ticking bomb with a bomb-proof bag. For that to work, the lining has to be built up from layers of high-strength fabrics which has heat and impact resistance - that's pretty much sums up how my mind works. The bomb being my unsettled thoughts and emotions, and the bomb-proof bag being the layers of self-deflection. You'd have to tear down the layers bit by bit before you can finally understand what makes up my mind. Tragic, huh. 

So, Wrongful Intimacy. 


I was on the fence about posting this. This post is not meant to target anyone specifically. It's just compiled emotions and thoughts that I wish to declutter from my mind once and for all. I hope others find this post somewhat relatable too or maybe, find closure in settling with your own emotions and thoughts just like I'm. 

I'm a very intimate person, only by choice. To me being intimate is associated with being closely acquainted with someone i'm rightfully allowed to. Let's established that there is a fine line between intimacy and secrecy. 

When you choose to have conversations with someone you share intimate relations with other than someone you are rightfully allowed to -- your spouse,  often times it will turn into a shared secrecy between the two of you because the conversation is not being shared between anyone else. 

So, what lines have been crossed here?
The choice to engage in intimate conversations.
The choice to remain it in secrecy.
The choice to be intimate with someone else other than someone you are rightfully allowed to.

If marriage doesn't draw the line, then what does? I've heard and seen this happen way too many times. Firstly, temptation is close, temptation is everywhere. Scary as it is -- coming from someone who is married. You try your very best to shy away from it as much as possible. Secondly, why run towards temptation knowing that it is so hard to get away from it in the first place. Remember the person you are married to. Remember that you have been entitled with the duty to respect them as a spouse, do not go about exhibiting unnecessary words of comfort or emotions to someone you are not rightfully allowed to. Not only does it speak a lot of your character, it speaks alot about your marriage too. Take your marriage seriously, it came together for a purpose. Though it is a two-way street, acknowledge the fact that your spouse has to share you among others too -- parents, siblings, relatives and friends. If the intimacy and love has to be shared among so many people, then what part of his/her spouse is he/she able to have for himself/herself? We constantly whitewash the wrongdoings of our spouses just to prove a point to others that the marriage is going smoothly but how do we whitewash their image that they choose to portray when they display their affection and emotions to someone, other than you?  Wallahu’alam

O Allah, shy us away from creating negative scenarios in our heads and hearts about our spouse.
O Allah, we seek your protection and guidance. 
May you descend peace upon us. Ameen

"Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured". (Quran 13:28)

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